Running away from Toxic Christianity

I think there are a lot of important questions we need to be asking ourselves in order to help grow the Kingdom of God. Questions that will challenge us because they're the hard questions to ask. A challenging question for me recently has been, "Why is Gen Z leaving the church?". Why are the people my age, my friends, why are they leaving the church? Or I even push that further to ask, why were they never even a part of the church?

Well, there are probably a lot of answers but I think there's one that has done the most damage. In the wise words of Author and theologian John Alan Turner, "It's hard to convince people that a God they can't see loves them, when a church they can see doesn't seem to like them."

I’ve had this conversation with a lot of people and it shocks me how many people don’t think it’s our fault. That it’s not the churches fault, but It is. This is the next generation that we are talking about, we have to do better. We make sharing the Gospel a lot harder than it should be. I believe the church always has something on their agenda above loving people the way Jesus told us to.

For example: There was a church in which they had 2 men walk into the church. It was obvious these men were apart of the LGBTQ+ community, but they still came to church! And while the greeters at the doors were celebrating and amazed that they just walked throught the doors, a couple people asked the question, "What are we going to do about them?" and one of the greeters said, "What do you mean 'What are we going to do about them?'". And this person responded by saying, “ Well we gotta tell them what they are doing is wrong.”

And I think that’s exactly where, as followers of Jesus, that we mess it up. We mess up by racing to tell someone their sin as soon as they walk in the doors to church. Newsflash: If they don’t even get the chance to hear and understand the Gospel and accept Jesus as their Savior, they’re not going to want to or even understand why they need to repent and stop living in sin.

I surveyed some people who I know do not attended church or claim to be a Christian and these were some of their responses:

1) What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think of Christians?

• Jesus, Hypocritical, Close-minded extremist christians

• Inconsiderate, small minded, but sometimes very kind and understanding

• Judgment. They claim not to judge but I’d say even more so than most do.

2)If you don’t go, what keeps you from going to church?

• I don’t feel welcome.

• Judgment, lack of acceptance

• Christianity was shoved down my throat as a child.

• Being told I’m less of a person, by the same people who preach to love one another.

• The consistent lack of acceptance of people who don’t fit the norm

3)What do Christians do that don’t make you feel loved?

• Harass and persecute me for not fitting the norm

• Judgment and controlling

• Close minded

4)What could Christians do to make you feel loved?

• Open minded and accept me

• Reassure me that I can’t do anymore than my best

• Accept me

• Love me even though I sin

• Be Genuine

5)What would you need a church to have before you even consider attending?

• Loving, learning, kind people who just want to praise and love God with you

• Accepting atmosphere, judgment free, no expectations of me when I walk in

• Authentic

Gen Z is leaving the church because we are judging them rather than loving. And I don’t mean righteously judging, I mean judging. Our goal should always be to live like Jesus. And Jesus was always known for what He was for, not what He was against.

In the story of the Samaritan Woman, Jesus knew everything that this woman did. He knew that she was an adulterer, that she had, had 5 husbands and that the man she was with then was not her husband, but He still showed her love. He showed her love by sharing the Good News with her. The Good News that she could be satisfied.

He says in John 4:14, “Everyone who drinks from this water will get thirsty again, but whoever drinks from the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

Instead of telling her she needed to stop sinning and such, He shared that there was more for her than what she was living for.

I think that instead of condemning people who walk in the door, whose sins just happen to be more visible than our own, we should extend the love of Christ to them. When non-believers walk into the doors of the church or even into our lives, we are given the opportunity to share Jesus with them. To share the Gospel and say “Hey I want to share that there is more for you than what you are living for, His name is Jesus.”

I would say that I was raised in the legalistic church. Not the church I was raised in, but the church as a whole. And if I hadn’t seen the love of Christ of those around me, If I hadn’t had a personal relationship with Jesus, if I hadn’t known the Gospel and saw what Jesus did for me despite my sins, I don’t think I would want to be a part of the church either. But we have the power to change that. To change the way that non-believers look and are treated by the church.

So,

• To the one who has been told they don’t belong anywhere near a church from someone who claims to be apart of that very church

• To the one who’s been made feel like an outcast by someone who claims to follow Christ

• To the one who has been stabbed in the back by humans who claim to be followers of Christ

• To the one who got kicked out of their church for simply questioning teachings

• To the one who has been hurt by the people in your close circle you thought you could trust

• To the one who has been made feel worthless because of who you are and been told that Jesus would never love you

• To the one who has been hurt by the church, by the very body of Christ, I love you, Jesus loves you. I promise we, the church, will do better.